Insanity?

I don't know what's gotten into me.

This feeling... of the need... the need to satisfy these thoughts and urges... It seems I might die if I don't. It seems I might die if I do.

You see, there's this thing called "instinct", right? It's pretty much one's natural reaction to a stimulus of some kind. Or just the idea for what to do when something happens.

Before, my instinct told me to control those urges and even ignore them. Now, it's telling my entire being I'll die a slow, painful death if I don't. But I'll die even if I do.

What the hell do I do.

I'm not sure if I'm going insane, or if this is the cruel illusion called reality.

What does it mean to be sane? What does it mean to be insane? What does it matter? How can you tell if you're still alive, or if you've already died and you're just a living shell?

Everything hurts so much. Everything feels amazing. It's too bright in here. Turn on a light, I can't see a thing. I want to destroy, to kill. I can't. I just can't.

But I must.

The urge is almost uncontrollable now. I have to harm, I have to. I feel as if I'm going to pop out of my skin if I don't.

But I can't. I don't have the strength to. I can't just harm what doesn't deserve it. It's just not right.

Yet it is.

I... I don't know why... How did this all happen... One day everything's perfectly fine and the next I'm falling to pieces. What's going on?

Why is this happening?

I don't understand...

Someone...

Help... me...